note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
