my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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