Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
