Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
