i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
