THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
