i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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