just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We need to get me chipped asap
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
