You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
