you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
