i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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