she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
