Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We left an ass print on the piano.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Someone signed my nipple.
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