I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I cut my penus on the lid.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
