How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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