And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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