I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
