I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
