She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
