"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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