ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
