you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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