whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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