The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
