The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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