positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
