We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
