I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
