She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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