Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He did a backflip because drugs
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