Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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