theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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