"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
