What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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