O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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