The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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