this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
