So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
