you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
