I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
