i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
