I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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