You really coming over, don't trick.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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