O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
