that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
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