i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
