so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
