Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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