I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
