I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
